I cannot sit back and tolerate what is happening in the world, I will intercede. Lately God has really pressed on my heart and been oh so gently breaking it for his children that have been trapped into the sex trade. And a little over a year ago I knew nothing of this issue happening around me. It all started with North Star Initiative being the organization we donated to at the C4 Christmas party. From there I met a friend the second week of my spring semester at Millersville. She had a heart that over Christmas break was broken for the issue. This burning issue on my heart hasn’t been there since last Christmas, I will say honestly that this is a new thing for me, but I know that so many things have lined up and why me! The next thing that stirred my heart was The 5K Run For Love in Ephrata right by Gateway House of Prayer where I am doing my internship. I ran to support my friend who was also at the same time raising support for her trip to Cambodia, while the run was happening the Prayer room was also open and they were interceding for the end of Human Trafficking, This was my first time in the prayer room which I now actually spend a good amount of time in, that was also the first time I felt a thick presence of God to where I was literally shaking. NEXT! It is a few days before my friend Kayla leaves for Cambodia; we all gathered around her and Joylie (the other young woman going) and were praying for their trip. Now the reason this is important was that this was my first experience praying in the spirit, like it was just weird to me, other people can do it but me??? Well I just let it happen that night, I think that was really significant, it’s hard to explain, but without even realizing God was putting on my heart something so deep that human words cannot begin to express how deeply this issue hurts him. Over the spring semester and summer I had become friends with a girl named Sarah, so in August during Circuit Riders we got together for dinner before the evening session, that was the first time we really sat down and talked and at that time we talked about not going back to school in the fall, we didn’t know each other wasn’t doing that. She starts back up in a few weeks because she was also called to fight and bring light to this issue of Human trafficking and the sex trade industry via journalism. Through my friendships with these two marvelous young women of God I have learned a lot about the issue, with them as friends God has also taught me a decent amount about the issue because there have been times that God lets me play dress up and be mail woman :). One more thing that has led to this issue being really on my heart before I get to the stuff in the really recent was that my work schedule was allowed me to be at Gateway for Night watch, Wednesday nights/Thursday mornings from 12-2am is one that I made it out to, like I had said earlier we are interceding for the end of Human Trafficking, it is amazing how much you learn by just beginning to intercede about an issue. One night before our watch we watched Nefarious, a documentary on the sex trade industry directed and produced by Benjamin Nolot, which was so eye opening. That night on the watch I was sitting in the back of the room with my eyes closed and I see this figure pacing, but there is no one there, it doesn’t take too long until I realize that this is Jesus, he is really in the room. He is pacing, he himself interceding, but he is furious! I have never before seen such a righteous anger, he is saying (John 10:10) “ I have come so that you may have life and have life to the full! THIS IS NOT LIFE!” and I realize sitting here now that quite honestly the first part of the verse also makes sense, a thief comes only to steal kill and destroy. That is pretty much what has been happening, their pimps have taken them and all they do is destroy and tear down these woman and children.
Now here we are in mid-January 2014. I was fortunate enough to be able to go out to Kansas City for the Onething conference with some friends old and new, wait, let me rephrase that, FAMILY! On December 31st Benjamin Nolot was our afternoon speaker, now this just makes sense now. Anyway I was feeling such freedom after a girls night of just heart to heart the night before but singing something in the morning just really hit my heart and threw me into a brokenness. One of my darling sisters in the Lord comes and sits beside me and just puts her arms around me and begins to speak life, at one point saying “God is a good daddy” now I have full reason to feel what I felt, rejection, but it wasn’t actually from God, it was because my biological father failed me. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful dad now who treats me as his own and loves me, I am extremely thankful for him even if I don’t always make it known. Anyways this feeling was just so heavy that I couldn’t shake it for the next week and a half. I just had such a hard time viewing God as a father, it just hurt so much even though he longs for me to let him be my daddy. On the way home as I was copiloting that same sister had me listen to a song by Jon Thurlow, said it would change my life. It was called My little one “there’s no need to be afraid, Daddy’s here and its okay, my love will take the fear away my little one”. The other song that had just really been hitting me is also by an IHOPKC worship leader, Misty Edwards All Men are Broken “I’m not like your father, listen my beloved one… I’m not like your father why are you putting that on me. I’m bigger than that… There’s only one good father, the father of all creation… he loves us so well, everything is in my hands, it’s gonna be alright, you’re gonna be okay. Your babies are my babies, and I will be the father because your babies are my babies, I’m gonna turn it all around just wait and see, I’m gonna make everything beautiful just in time.” I typed them as she sang so they are not all word for work and some skipping, but you get the point. I am now doing my internship as you know, and I was in the prayer room at Eastgate and I began to pray over Cambodia, then I am onto the Nations declaring every tongue will sing his praises, next thing you know I’m at the djembe singing over the victims especially the young girls and singing “Father hold them tight, Father let them feel your love, set them free!” and all of a sudden I realize that all that I was feeling as far as rejection and struggling to see God as a daddy was really not for me, it was because I am an intercessor, and I had to feel it… These girls have been sold by their fathers, or left orphaned by their parents where they were left and taken by pimps. You know what is so sad, is that in other countries parents are congratulated when they have a baby girl because they can sell them for sex if they need money. So as my heart was just breaking for them, I understood why I felt led to take the watch that I am. I fully believe that we will see an end to this horrific event, Jesus is coming back and it will be ended once and for all! In the meantime the rest of us have to fight like it’s our life on the end because these are our sisters through God the father. There is no room for any unbelief, if we don’t believe then that’s a sin on our part that is going to keep us from fulfilling the work God has created us for we will see an end to this. I will watch on the wall for Jesus to return, for he is my beloved, and because when he returns there is FREEDOM!